Kia Glitz


	1. Who was the first person who looked at a cow and said, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.” 2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast horribly, which no decent human being would eat? 3. Why is there a light in the fridge but not the freezer? 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why is there a song about him? 5. Can a hearse carrying a body drive in the car pool lane? 6. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can build a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix the hole in the boat? 7. Why do people point to their wrists when asking what time it is but don’t point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is? 8. Why does the OB/GYN leave the room when you are getting undressed when they are going to look at everything anyways? 9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto is on all fours? They are both dogs! 10. What do you call male Ballarinas? 11. Why ARE Trix only for kids? 12. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner? 13. Why is a person who handles your money called a “broker”? 14. If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? 15. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 16. If a man is talking in the forest and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong? 17. If electricity comes from electrons, does mortality come from morons? 18. Is Disney World the only human trap operated by a mouse? 19. Why do the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? 20. Do illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup? 21. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you put him in the car with the windows down he sticks his head out the window?